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Pledge Page

How to pledge

I pledge my fantasy world to Jon Stewart, where we can sit and talk over a candlelight dinner in a dark restaurant overlooking the ocean. Good to know I'm not the only one feelin' like this! Keep up the good taste, ladies!
~ Laura Jane, March 15, 2002 ~

I do pledge my life to serve The Jon Stewart.
He is my personal saviour.
He is my pocket Jesus.
I do pledge my life to serve The Jon Stewart.
~ James Alkaiser, hopeless@swirve.com, feel free to email me, ICQ #151074980, March 2, 2002 ~

I pledge my loyalty to the man who changed my life, Jon Stewart. His whimsical antics have inspired me in my life, and I will forever be loyal to him and to no other man but him. God bless my hero, Jon Stewart.
~ The Knobb, October 11, 2001 ~

I, cara, pledge my undying love for Jon Stewart. He is my hero, I want to be a cool anchorman (woman) like him. He is beautiful and deserves all the attention that he gets. He has worked hard and has looked damn good doing it. Long live The Daily Show and Jon Stewart!! puurrr . . . .
~ Cara, swtjseb52@yahoo.com, If you want to chat, you can on AOL -- SWTcollegegirl52 -- I'll talk about anything!! September 23, 2001 ~

I've been watching The Daily Show and Jon Stewart for so long. I'm 16, and I'm so upset that I found out you have to be 18 to go see The Daily Show. :( I had the phone in hand to call then I found out, my heart was crushed. Anyway, I love you Jon!!! I love this site too, ANNIE. You're awesome. Thanks for this site . . . maybe i'll catch Jon here around Jersey sometime, I mean i live here. Maybe one day I'll get to catch a glimpse.
~ NAT, mariachigurl@aol.com, August 28, 2001 ~

I pledge my undying love and devotion to Jon Stewart for being so damn cute in Maxim! (And everything else he does.)
~ Courtney, August 5, 2001 ~

I pledge to boycott my own birthday party that my family's throwing for me cos thats the day that I'm going to my very first taping of TDS!!! I've waited so long for this, finally I'm turning 18, man!!!
~ Jay, jimihendrixgurl@aol.com, July 22, 2001 ~

Jon Stewart is a King. He is brilliant, funny, sexy. Jon rules!
~ Lisa Hayes, LHayes615@aol.com, July 20, 2001 ~

I pledge to annoy all of Britain with the wondrousness of Jon. Thanks to the Internet, I have found him, and I think it very possible I will lead the Stewart assault this side of the pond. All ye people of the Americas, be thankful that you are broadcast his work a hell of a lot more than we are. (And I apologise for the poor sense of humour of my compatriot, Posh Spice. She knows nothing).
~ Mim, charlie_croker@london.com, March 19, 2001 ~

Obviously I'm a fan of Jon Stewart, but that is not the reason why I wanted to sign the guestbook. I just wanted to congratulate you, Annie, on your wonderful site. Keep up the good work . . . . If I might break form and make a request, does anybody know how I can get my hands on "Unleavened"? I don't get to see the Daily Show where I am :( and so would love to at least have a copy of what I believe was the best stand-up performance I've ever seen . . . thanks.
~ MoS, justsendhere@hotmail.com, February 17, 2001 ~

Jon Stewart is the most beautifulist, sexiest, funniest man, EVER!!
~ Veronica, aida_v_mora@aoncons.com, January 23, 2001 ~

Hey I am a 15 year old Canadian girl, and I have been watching Jon on my illegal American satellite dish since I was 10! I am overjoyed that there are actually other people out there that feel the same way I do! Has anyone else noticed that he seems to pick on Canadians a lot? Maybe it's just me. Anyway, all you girls kick ass!!!
~ Superfan, January 5, 2001 ~

At last . . I have finally found a home! You all understand the magnificence of our Lord Jon Stewart. I tell you, it matters not that I am 21 years younger than him! He's a beautiful man, and I pledge to never know another love as great as Jon. Someday, we will all frolic together in the Land of Jon. Until then, may we all have sweet dreams of Jon. I know I will!
~ Lanai, dedicated JSEB member, suniflower14@hotmail.com, Feel free to email me about Jon! Or anything else! December 10, 2000 ~

I love Jon Stewart. Once I'm 18, I'm going to a taping of The Daily Show and steal him and fly to Vegas, and we're getting married no matter what. Yes, I'm crazy. But he's like a Greek god I tell you. I love you Jon. Try not to be scared.
~ Alexandra, nedezhda@hotmail.com, December 8, 2000 ~

Jon Stewart: the hottest Jewish guy . . . EVER!!! *ahem* I'm a 16-year-old Jewish girl, if anyone wanted to know. (Somehow, I doubt it.) I would recite some pledge of allegiance to the greatness that is Lord Jon, but I'm too busy drowning in Stewart-happy bliss on this site! Happy Hanukkah! And Happy Birthday, Jon!
~ Kaophyre Tmadashi Serai, seraph_fire@hotmail.com, Feel free to toss mail my way -- always happy to have it! November 30, 2000 ~

I am a 25-year-old black woman, and I am here to admit my love and unending adoration of Jon Stewart. I am so glad to have found a place where so many others feel the same way, and where I therefore belong. Jon, I want to have your baby and make sweet love to you every nite. If I find u, u will be mine! Resistance is futile! Don't worry, I am cute! I love u Jon, and want your email address!!! Email me if u know it, gals!! Jon, your interview of baby and posh spice had me rolling on the floor! By far the best one yet! Keep up the good work! Muuah!!
~ Afrodite42, afrodite42@aol.com, October 30, 2000 ~

I pledge to always keep a place in my heart for jon stewart -- not only because he's a healthy piece of meat, but because he's a good person, and that's more important than anything else.
~ Holly-Beth, hollyinlp@webtv.net, Committed to Jon Stewart webmaster, September 20, 2000 ~

Put quite simply, I Pledge my life and well being to Jon Stewart. He is the sexiest man to grace the earth, and my love for him is everlasting.
~ Rachael, Lacher17@hotmail.com, August 4, 2000 ~

I pledge to watch TDS every night at 11, every morning at 10, every afternoon at 1, and every night at 1:30am.
I pledge to maintain my loyalty to this Jon site, because it is the best one out there.
I pledge to lose my virginity only to Jon Stewart.
~ Platygirl, Platygirl@yahoo.com, July 17, 2000 ~

I pledge to never miss TDS and to always keep up with Jon's schedules, pictures, and everything else concerning this great man.
~ Jennie Hymel, Krazy Kajun46, July 13, 2000 ~

Hmmm . . . I am not sure what I am supposed to write, but what the hell, here we go!! I pledge to use all SSS information wisely and share with my fellow Jon fans. I pledge to be the best Jon freak possible.
~ Chaney, Newyorkette@jonstewart.com, June 29, 2000 ~

I pledge to never miss The Daily Show.
I pledge to continue to annoy my friends by talking on and on about JS.
I pledge to love Jon Stewart forever because he is so very very hot!
I pledge to go to a taping of TDS with my 2 best friends (someday . . . ) and meet Mr. Stewart . . . and run away with him LOL.
I also pledge to keep trying to make more room for Jon Stewart pictures in my No Doubt and Gwen filled room . . . .
~ Gwenabee ~*~, Gwenabee9@aol.com, E-mail me or IM me if ya wanna talk about Jon (or if you like No Doubt), June 24, 2000 ~

I pledge never to remove Jon's beautiful, funny face from my mind's eye.
I pledge to read "Naked Pictures . . . " as many times as my short lifespan will allow.
I pledge to never, ever miss TDS or any other movies, shows, etc. featuring Jon unless a true emergency occurs.
I pledge to remain loyal and devoted to Jon Stewart Leibowitz in every (non-stalker) way I can.
I will end with a quote:
"I'm filled with babies! Even the babies I'm filled with are filled with babies!" --Sumerian fertility goddess
~ Liz F, foleyliz84@hotmail.com, JSEB Member, E-mail me about Jon! May 23, 2000 ~

I pledge:
To always cover any locker door within my possession with his (printed) face.
To claim endlessly that "Well, Jon just likes to call me Tracy to the press . . . ."
To watch all his movies (and he was in some really bad ones too, man . . . .)
And others, but I only have 100 words.
~ Meredith L., today39@aol.com, JSEB member, E-mail me if you just want to talk about his hair or something . . . , May 22, 2000 ~

Okay, I remember first seeing Jon first on his MTV show . . . even though I was maybe only 11, I knew by that smile, that wit, that I would always be devoted. I received his book for X-Mas (loved it). I was supposed to go see him perform at Carnegie Hall on June 8, but my Senior scholarship awards ceremony is that night, and if I'm not there to recieve the money, I lose it to someone else. Hmmmm . . . Jon or college? My mom made the decision for me, sniff sniff . . . but I turn 18 on June 11, and then I can go to NY to see Jon -- I mean a taping . . . .
~ Kristen, LawVines5@aol.com, E-mail me!, May 19, 2000 ~

I am proudly pledging my faithfulness to the SSS, Jon Stewart, and The Daily Show. Jon . . . if you are reading this, e-mail me. JON STEWART ROCKS!!! And I love him.
~ Lindsay Hansen, lmh990@aol.com, May 16, 2000 ~

i pledge to be a proud member of the SSS. Jon is really cool, and i think i should be a member of this. I'll put a link to this site on my *Vance DeGeneres* site if you let me in.
~ Kristen-Jarrod DeGeneres :), Vancespandorabox@hotmail.com, visit my Vance site at http://sparklemilhouse.homepage.com/index.html, May 5, 2000 ~

Whenever I see John, I think rainbows and lollipops . . . *pause* wait . . . that's not right. Er' . . . more appropriately, I think "whipped cream." Yeah, that sounds better. But besides my sexual urges, I think "talent." Something he has a *whole lot* of!
~ Kate (aka: John's Kate-a-palooza), SpookyGrl5@aol.com, Proud JSEB Member, April 23, 2000 ~

Yeah, though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, Jon Stewart showed me the light of the true way.

SARCASM

The true way to immortality is to be remembered as the guy who made fun of people.
~ sydneyq, sydvishios@yahoo.com, April 19, 2000 ~

"Is it Jon's will His image should keep open my heavy eyelids to the weary night?" He who is a God deserves nothing less than Shakespeare. I am a faithful worshipper of everything He speaks of, touches, and uses in His hair. I feel as if anything more I say will tarnish Him. That is all.
~ Ashley, ally1013@hotmail.com, April 15, 2000 ~

I love Jon. I love him I love him I love him. I don't care about his back hair, I love him! And I promise to keep loving him forever. You can shoot me in the stomach with an AK47 if I stop loving him.
~ Nikki, Nikki@jonstewart.com, The Jon Stewart Archives webmaster, April 4, 2000 ~

I. Love. SSS. Jon, if you're out there . . . I just want you to know, that you are the hottest, funniest, most intelligent man. My mother approves of you ("He's Jewish, yes? Well, tat is good.") so we can be married.
~ Neona, neonafaery@aol.com, April 2, 2000 ~

I had never seen/heard of Jon before I watched Elmopalooza with my 2 year old. I thought wow, this guy's a hottie. I am not a big fan-club person, but I can make an exception for a guy as sexy as him.
~ Lorrie Diederich, Ladybug, Feb. 20, 2000 ~

Oh Jon, my Mountain Jew, I love you now and always will. I promise when I am 18 and you are 40, I will seek you out in an attempt to rid you of your current wife and marry you. I can't say much more or I will be prosecuted . . . .
Love always, The 13th Sister.
~ Ashleigh, epitaph77@aol.com, Jan. 31, 2000 ~

OK, I'm not a poet or at the least an intelligent writer! But I am a devoted fan that could not imagine a world w/o the short Jew that makes the universe function! I'm unbelievably obsessed with Jon Stewart, and I revel on November 28th. I've based my entire comic career on his kind of genius. Mr. Leibowitz: I salute U!
~ Missy, barbie2072@aol.com, Jan. 26, 2000 ~

Jon Stewart is the reason why I get up in the morning. He's the reason I choose to live at all. I shall hail him till the day I die! I love you Jon!
~ Jennifer (Epona), Jan. 17, 2000 ~

I pledge to always be true to Jonathan Stewart Leibowitz, The Daily Show, and anything else graced with the presence of Jon Stewart. For I have never in my life found anything as funny, smart, or appealing as Jon Stewart. I can not express the meaning in words, so quoting (well kinda, I changed a word) my favorite Jon Stewart movie (Playing By Heart,
watch it -- it's good), "Talking about Jon is like dancing about architecture."
~ Lola (not really), Smadi75@aol.com, "Watch The Daily Show, only on Comedy Central," Jan. 7, 2000 ~

Since I first saw Jon (the talented), on MTV, I have called him a phrase, "Big sexy on a stick," which he has lived up to. As I am typing I am watching him on two channels, God bless my recorder. I am a devoted lover of Jon, and pledge to spread the faith, of this great great Sexy funny man.
~ Fynn, sexysykes@hotmail.com, Dec. 31, 1999 ~

Jon has enlightened me deeply. Jon is my hero. In fact, a friend told me that he was, like me, a native Buffalonian, and I began to look into him. Before I knew it, I was a Jonaholic. I still don't know if Jon is from Buffalo, but Jon, I salute you!!!
~ Brian, BigGanger316@aol.com, Dec. 30, 1999 ~

I promise that from this day on that I will be devoted to the one man who is 25 years older than me, but still tastes refreshingly minty. I promise that I will make all my "Carson Daly is hot" friends turn to the dark side. The dark side of course being Jon "the Peppermint Mint Patty" Stewart. I promise that I will never miss The Daily Show, and on Fridays-Sundays
I will spend my whole day watching tapes of TDS, surfing the many websites decided to Jon, and I will stay locked in my room reading "Naked Pictures."
~ Sara, Soulsars@yahoo.com, JON FOR WORLD PRESIDENT!!!, JSEB member, Dec. 6, 1999 ~

I think that Jon Stewart has to be one of the sexiest (funniest, hottest, etc.) guys ever, and if I ever stop being his #1 fan, I give all of you permission to shoot me in a very sensitive area.
~ Jessica Lane Leibowitz, technicolorrubyslippers@yahoo.com, "Hey, if you love jon as much as I do you will email me. K?" Dec. 5, 1999 ~

I, Thalia, swear on my small framed picture of Jonathan Stewart Leibowitz in a dress to be eternally faithful to His indisputable greatness.
~ Thalia (Muse of Comedy), meganemcg@aol.com, http://members.aol.com/ohwfonwmm/, Nov. 28, 1999 ~

I pledge that I will love Jon Stewart Leibowitz forever and never say wrong or hurtful things about him. I pledge never to miss an episode of The Daily Show and to keep my goal of marrying him in the back of my brain which, unless God decides to be very nice to a teenager, will never happen. I tape every episode of TDS and every show he is on. I will always be a loyal fan.
~ Ashley Perkins, isaacgurl@excite.com, JSEB member, "Please check out my website at http://clik.to/hotpeople," Nov. 23, 1999 ~

Can you describe Jon with mere words? Well, someone probably could. Shakespeare, perhaps. But he's dead. So I'll quote my favorite movie, "Look into his eyes, those big, pretty eyes." Awwww . . . Jon's big pretty eyes . . .
~ Miss Rebecca, JonsKitchenBch@aol.com, Jon's Kitchen Bitch, SSS Supporter, JSEB webpage co-manager at http://altern.org/jseb/index.html, and, well . . . JSEB President, Nov. 13, 1999 ~

Jon Stewart rocks. There's nothing else to say about it. OK? Don't argue.
~ Jess, jchung@garbage.com, Jon Stewart Rocks webmaster, Oct. 17, 1999 ~

. . . and on the seventh day, God created Jon Stewart. So I kneel at the altar of JON and light a candle to pay homage for his greatness! HAIL JON STEWART!
~ Melanie Mays-Srsic, Oct. 15, 1999 ~

I have been a fan only since the start of The Great One's beginning at TDS, but I am truly devoted and will be a faithful member of the SSS. Thank you for letting me serve you, Jon.
~ Jennie, robnel@ix.netcom.com, "E-mail me!", Oct. 7, 1999 ~

I do solemnly swear to follow Jon and all his teachings. I will empty the dishwasher when he tells me to and let him sleep with me by the washing machine. And if he says it is daylight savings time in the Land of Plenty then I shall not doubt him. I will never doubt him because not only is he "still the one making up the seating chart for the rocket ship" but also because "at Salvation, the lieutenants get to carry the Captain’s hat."
~ Cait, caitlin@jonstewartkicksass.zzn.com, "Visit my Jon Stewart (soon to be all of daily show) site, The Jon Stewart Brain Surgery Training Center," Sept. 22, 1999 ~

I love it when I find places like this site where I learn that I'm not the only one who recognizes Jon's true value and worth. When I went to see BIG DADDY, I was with 8 kids there to see Sandler, and I was there to see Jon. I LOVE THE FACULTY, and every morning at school I'm overtired b/c g-d forbid I should miss the hilarious first airing of a Daily Show ep. Jon rocks, and even more so b/c he doesn't seem to realize it.
~ Melissa, Sept. 18, 1999 ~

At this moment I'm watching "Wishful Thinking," straight to video indie type movie with ::::insert wistful sigh here:::: none other than our Golden Matzo Boy, Jon. Oh Jon. Saw "Playing By Heart" and nearly died. By his self deprecating tone (and smile... oh gosh) it would appear he has no clue how sexy he really is. Even as a psychotic alien-infested biology teacher. And the best part is, thanks to basic cable, I can see him at night, in reruns ... woohoo! More Jon! More Jon! Think I'll go read Naked Pictures. Hee hee. Woohoo. Cutie.
~ by Erin Ashby, SpookMuldy@aol.com, Sept. 6, 1999 ~

Jon is all-powerful, mighty, gargantuan, and supreme. Jon is all the kit and none of the caboodle. Jon kicks ass, naked or clothed. Jon suffers the SSS to come unto him. Jon is inconceivable and omnipotent.
~ by Rebecca, "I am cable-deprived right now, so I am in Stewart withdrawl. Jon bless the webring!", Sept. 1, 1999 ~

Glad to see others are finally more obsessed with Jon Stewart than I ever could have been . . . where were all you people five years ago?? Good luck.
~ by Teevie, The oldest & crappiest JS fan site on the web, Jon Stewart Rules My Face, Aug. 22, 1999 ~

I establish Jon Stewart as the sexiest, funniest, smartest, overall the best man on television and in this sad world. His is our light. He will lead us. Without him, we wallow in our troth with no hope for the future. Jon, you are the savior of the insane, the demented, and those without any life. I live for you. I actually know somebody who resembles you a little, but he will never come close to the greatness that you possess. In JON,
~ by Mashka142@aol.com, Aug. 14, 1999 ~

Why do we pledge to Jon S?
-- He's so cool, 4 out of 5 people say his hair looks better puffy...(this requires insane amounts of coolness)
-- He gets flattering "dear Jon" letters from crazed fans...(the rest of the world gets dumped)
-- And when laughing at his own joke actually makes the joke funnier, you know he's something special.
Yes, Jon Stewart deserves every amount of praise he gets, and I kiss the ground he walks on . . . :^*
~ by Zippy Z.P., chicot2000@yahoo.com, Aug. 10, 1999 ~

The superiority of the Stewart fan has been firmly established. Note, for instance, the plethora of scientific data that reveals that the Stewart fan is smart, attractive, and more likely to find good parking spaces. This is in stark contrast to inferior fans, those of, for instance, Gallagher, who are irrefutably dumber, uglier, and more likely to put on their shoes before they put on their pants. The evidence is clear. Fans who profess no love for Stewart must be eliminated. There can be no other option.
~ Annie, annie***@***. "I know. I'm the webmaster, and I shouldn't sign my own guestbook. But hey -- I want to show my own devotion too. So there!" ~

Examples:

There once was a man named Jon S
Who was greater than the beast of Loch Ness.
On my love I was carried
Till I heard he got married,
Now my life is completely a mess.
Jonish Obssessington, jobsessington@email.fan, looking for pen pals about JS! E-mail me! JSEB member.

So it has been prophesied, that the followers of Stewart shall be led to a golden paradise. Rise up, brothers and sisters, and listen to His words, for Stewart is King, and shall forever be.
Jell S. O'Tracy, jotracy@email.fan, I love to get e-mail, please send me some.